voice barricade

one month in a minute

voicebarricade — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 15:56:58 +0000

a lot has happened in the last month. i am extensively planning for our move. i can’t believe that in less than two months, i will be in a totally new country! i am excited and scared at the same time. what if i don’t get a job? i also am starting up my own design company. i plan to do some graphic design, layouts, logos, more on branding and event management as well. it sounds so big but really right now it is so micro or like how they say it now, nano? anyway, i will have one client for now and that’s it. i am excited and scared about that also since i don’t know if that will be successful. for the past few weeks i’ve been so tense and stressed out. i hope that i can soon relax and just take it easy. but of course, that would be the opposite of what’s coming. all i can do is try my best and accomplish as much as i can.

stranger

voicebarricade — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 19:28:54 +0000

tonight i am in a strange place
i am lost
i am nobody

tonight i heard her voice
i feel at home
i feel like myself

tonight that doesn’t sound so great
i am alone
i am myself

tonight i don’t give much care
i feel it hurt
i feel the burst

emotionally lazy

voicebarricade — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 20:41:49 +0000

these past few days, i haven’t been feeling strongly about anything. it’s like i’m emotionally lazy. i just let things be the way they are and i don’t care much. the only thing i am worried about right now is my husband being miles away, renting a flat together with his co-worker who is a single woman. just the picture of him with her having her arms around him really pisses me off. i know for him it means nothing but you never know. i totally trust him but i don’t trust the people around him. the thing is, i haven’t met those people and to me they are just names. i guess i’m not so emotionally lazy after all. tell me if i’m being paranoid, he is always reassuring and sometimes i feel embarrassed when i think something of these small things and he tells me how proud he is of our babies. i know it is normal to feel these. i don’t know why i still don’t give him my full trust. i am just hurting myself by thinking about these things which may or may not be happening. paranoia can really get to me sometimes.

avast!

voicebarricade — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 21:07:29 +0000

i must be bored or just being lazy. i am currently getting addicted to this online rpg pirate quest. i should be reading these ebooks i downloaded but instead i am wasting my time reloading the page of a browser.

passion

voicebarricade — Sun, 07 Oct 2007 18:55:33 +0000

passion, i think this is what i lack. i have a lot of interests but never really the passion for any of them. i realize that this is what i need in order to be good at something. i don’t know if i am lazy or if i just don’t have the time to research.

envy

voicebarricade — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 22:08:15 +0000

i don’t know why i am so envious of other people. i know i need to get it out of my system. i guess it’s because of my frustrations that i am driven to feel this. it’s not a good feeling. pulls me down most of the time. i need to concentrate on what i am capable of. i know i need to focus on what i can do. i shouldn’t dwell on something that is not me. i just wish sometimes i could be that person. able to do everything. that is impossible of course. i guess it’s the reason why i feel like i have to know how to do everything. jack of all trades, master of none.

svefn-g-englar

voicebarricade — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 19:37:40 +0000

what the hell happened to my post? i was going to edit it but now it’s gone. anyway, i hope i remember it the way i wrote it the first time:

it’s only been recently that i really started listening to sigur ros. my husband used to play it before or during my sleep. for the past week, i have been listening to sigur ros on my way to work while riding the bus. i can feel that the music is really emotional and there is much sadness in it. this is my favorite song right now apart from staralfur and saeglopur.

Svefn-g-englar

Ég Er Kominn Aftur
Inn I Þig
Það Er Svo Gott Að Vera Hér
En Stoppa Stutt Við
Eg Flýt Um I Neðarsjávar Hýði
A Hóteli Beintengdur Við Rafmagnstöfluna Og Nærist
Tjú Tjú
En Biðin Gerir Mig Leiðan – Brot Hættan Sparka Frá Mér
Og Kall A – Verð Að Fara – Hjálp
Tjú Tjú
Eg Spring Ut Og Friðurinn I Loft Upp
Baðaður Nýju Ljósi
Eg Græt Og Eg Græt – Aftengdur
Onýttur Heili Settur A Brjóst
Og Mataður Af Svefn-G-Englum

strong>translation:

Sleepwalkers

I’m Here Again
Inside You
It’s So Nice In Here
But I Can’t Stay For Long
I Float Around In Liquid Hibernation
In A Hotel Nourishing On The Electricity Board
Tyoowoohoo
But The Wait Makes Me Uneasy – I Kick The Fragility Away
And Shout – I Have To Go – Help
Tyoowoohoo
I Explode Out And The Peace Is No More
Bathed In New Light
I Cry And Cry – Disconnected
An Unused Brain Put On Breasts
And Fed By Sleepwalkers

hannibal lecter

voicebarricade — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 14:12:04 +0000

for the past two days, i was on a movie marathon. i was watching the hannibal sequels/prequels. i liked all of them, but my stomach did not. the other night, we had steak for dinner. i took a bite but couldn’t quite swallow it. i had an alternative which was spaghetti and it didn’t go down well also but i had no choice – it was either spaghetti or go hungry. for the past two days, i have been feeling like throwing up, and going vegetarian. maybe it’s the new dietary supplement i’m taking or maybe it’s something else. i am sure it’s not the movie.

i don’t want to miss him anymore

voicebarricade — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 20:05:16 +0000

three months from now, i hope that i’ll be with him. this last time he left was harder than the first time. there are parts of the day when i would remember him and just feel sad and hope that i was with him at that moment. i plan to busy myself with work to let those three months go by as quickly as it could. i also plan on not using my credit card anymore so that i can pay it off and be able to go by january. i do hope that everything goes well and for the better.

liquor, prime and soul kitchen

voicebarricade — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 19:59:47 +0000

i just finished reading soul kitchen, the third in the series of novels by poppy z brite. i couldn’t put down these three books and i just can’t get enough of rickey and g-man. now that i’m done with the last novel for now, i feel like i will miss them. i hope a new one comes out soon so i can read about them again. these were definitely good reads and i would recommend it to anyone.