emotionally lazy

these past few days, i haven’t been feeling strongly about anything.  it’s like i’m emotionally lazy.  i just let things be the way they are and i don’t care much.  the only thing i am worried about right now is my husband being miles away, renting a flat together with his co-worker who is a single woman.  just the picture of him with her having her arms around him really pisses me off.  i know for him it means nothing but you never know.  i totally trust him but i don’t trust the people around him.  the thing is, i haven’t met those people and to me they are just names.  i guess i’m not so emotionally lazy after all.  tell me if i’m being paranoid, he is always reassuring and sometimes i feel embarrassed when i think something of these small things and he tells me how proud he is of our babies.  i know it is normal to feel these.  i don’t know why i still don’t give him my full trust.  i am just hurting myself by thinking about these things which may or may not be happening.  paranoia can really get to me sometimes.

~ by voicebarricade on October 22, 2007.